Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
