the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize