I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize