i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
