HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
