Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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