thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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