Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
