No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
