i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
