you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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