i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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