He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
