i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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