I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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