So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
