Define "chronic" masturbator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
