can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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