He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
