I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
