Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
