are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
