Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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