it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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