Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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