Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
