so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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