Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
