dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i would punch a child for taco bell
barbara walters just said penis...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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