BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
