when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
