went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
