Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
