party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Are my feet made of real feet?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
