i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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