I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
