All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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