You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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