Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
