I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Acid is not a monday night drug
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
