that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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