grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
