i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
