Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
how does that bad decision feel?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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