Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The uberlube is also flammable
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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