So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This baby is an asshole
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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