question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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