I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
