I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize