brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
