There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
