im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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