dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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