My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
