Acid is not a monday night drug
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
