I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
