Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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