So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
