You're my little dorito
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
