Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
