somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
