Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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