Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
