she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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