real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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