he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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