I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize